The Key to (MY) Happiness

I'm going to let you in on a little secret I have discovered in the past few years. (Let's say I came to this realization on October 8th, 2014.. Yeah, that sounds good). It's been working for me. It may not work for you, but I'll tell you it definitely will not hurt you to try it. And try you will have to! This practice takes some effort on your part, so if you aren't serious about it, then you can continue on your path and hope one day you don't look back and wonder if you should have tried this. It's an age old practice: The key to happiness you are searching for is within you. Hear me out.

Your subconscious mind is a very malleable and delicate sponge that absorbs everything you've ever consumed. Every article of information, every song, every good or bad word, every movie scene, every act of violence or benevolence witnessed, every advertisement. Everything! You conscious mind isn't aware of this happening and simply writes things off most of the time. Now over time, your mind has been formed by external factors you have had no control over. This can create loads of problems: Anxiety, depression, self-doubt, lack of confidence, apathy, hate, disgust, masochism, bad habits, etc. Majority of people will display and project happiness on the surface but their minds are going haywire or they develop these masochistic tendencies to cope with these external factors that bring them down (I have been here). The habits cover up the underlying problem for the time being but it is merely like adding fuel to the perpetual flame.

Enough with fear mongering, what about the good news? There is plenty! This is exactly where you start. At first this will be uncomfortable and you will want to relapse on the negativity your mind has allowed to curate through external factors but remember your mind is completely malleable and it takes persistence and repetition to change it for the better. Like any great thing, this will take effort and work and this is why majority of people simply let the negativity happen to them. Imagine that, because a few years ago I really could not imagine that, I thought happiness would just happen. But as time went on, it didn't. Things just get worse until you tell your mind you have had enough and you want change (and mean it). I will lay out a few tips that have worked and continue to work for me. You will need to start slow, and as you gain momentum, you can increase how often you do these things.

1. Sit down and think of your life goals and how you want to get there:

 This is tip 1 for a reason, without a plan, how can you expect to get to your destination? Through going with the flow and wandering aimlessly? Get real. If I had been mature and honest with myself to implement this at the age of 20, I'd be further ahead than I am now, but you can start today! Focus on goals for the roles in your life: Family member, employee, friend, spouse, business owner, parent, community organizer, etc. Determine where you see yourself going with those (and why), and how you will get there.

2. Be Proactive:

Your mind wants to be productive (in good ways and bad). By staying active and forcing yourself to start doing any good habit, you will develop new synapses that induce learning capabilities. You will feel discomfort at first but refer back to your goals as often as possible and remind yourself WHY you're making a change. It's easy to go back on a good habit when you don't have an important 'why' clearly stated.

3. Meditate:

I used to think people who practiced meditation were cuckoo. I never understood it or why they did it. Even though I've always over analyzed every situation in my life. Then one day I tried it, thought it was dumb. After reading more about it, I decided to do it more and stick with it. It has had a phenomenal effect. My mind is more clear for when I need to focus on anything important. I am less anxious. I am present. I am more calm in tense situations. It is relaxing! Frankly, I am happier too. Start with this: Download an app (free); (Headspace is where I started), follow the simple instructions, but remember the only goal is to not focus on thoughts, but focus on the moment (your breath, the sounds around you, your body, physical feelings) instead. It will get easier with practice. By doing this, you get your wandering mind a break from over thinking and over analyzing and it will love you for it.

4. Write, read, feed:

Start a journal, get your thoughts out on paper so they don't build inside your mind. How else do you expect to know what you did yesterday so you can improve upon it today? If you are like me at all, you don't share as much personal info about yourself to others (even though you know you should), so the next best thing is writing your thoughts down to let them out. Read as much as possible. By feeding your mind you gain knowledge and put your thoughts to work on things other than negativity or being unproductive. Feed; basically you need to eat better. It is so easy to eat poorly and consume the addictive sugar and caffeine. Your mind believes it needs the poor nutrition items thanks to negative advertisement telling it to consume them since you were a child. Of course, it is okay to indulge periodically, but moderation is key.

5. Be conscious of your habits:

It is very easy to simply let your habits rule you instead of the other way around. Simply by being aware of what you are doing will help you make some changes for the better.

6. Indulge in healthy things you love:

Exercise, hike, outdoors, nature, take pictures (not too many selfies), sports, socializing, eat healthy, seeing family and friends, traveling, learning, reading, writing, meditating, creating, talking, fishing. All good things!

7. Perform positive affirmations:

Last but not least. This is key. Your mind has been bombarded by negativity and it will perpetuate what it is told if not stopped by you. Write down and say out loud positive affirmations daily/weekly. Things like "I am a strong individual who will succeed in my goals", "I am mentally and physically healthy and happy", or what you envision yourself to be. Within reason, you are only as strong as your worst thoughts. Whether you believe you can or can't, you are right! Saying positive affirmations will help instill a positive mindset and change your subconscious mind to help you curate a life you want to live. This step is incredibly important for internal harmony. If nothing else, at least try this one every day that you remember to do so.

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I am still developing new good habits and I've realized how easy it is to not try and become a better person. Lethargy is easy, but is it worth it in the long run? I know I don't want to look back and have more "I wish I had" regrets than "I'm glad I did" statements. Now I don't guarantee happiness for anyone. But by taking a few consistent steps in a positive direction and balancing out the negative, you can certainly guarantee yourself you will feel better. It will not happen overnight and it will take time. Just start slow and consistent and you will see major strides. You might even have more fun focusing on developing than you ever thought you could.

One last thing. When you start this, you will immediately notice people telling you that you've changed or something is wrong with you. They will notice you are being more positive and trying to line your life up in a way that best suits your goals and they may distance themselves from you or project their problems onto you. Ignore this, or inform them on what you are actually doing if you really care about them. You need to find like-minded people who think like you and by simply thinking more positively, you will attract those people into your life and you flush out those who are not. Once you think more positively, you will truly wish the best for everyone, even if they do not wish the same for you. Good luck! I believe in you.

The German Way

The German Way, sort of like saying "The American Way" and leaving it at that one untouched thought. Every culture is complex and diverse in their own regard. Germany is truly no exception. I have been here for a month and this is just a short list of things I've noticed and have been adjusting to. It is very intriguing to be thrust from one giant comfort zone and place you know to a foreign land where you know nothing.

Let me first briefly tell you about my situation before proceeding to what I have noticed about Germany. I live in Garmisch-Partenkirchen (on the Garmisch side) in South Bavaria, less than an hour drive from Austria. I work at the Edelweiss Lodge and Resort, and even though I live and work in Europe, I am employed and housed by America. (Meaning I make crap wages and get crap benefits compared to local Germans I work with, yay!). Now, like I said, I work in Germany but I work for America, I am surrounded by American's every day and it is incredibly easy to go from the comfort of living in America to the comfort of living at Edelweiss because it is the exact same American culture! I must venture out and beyond the walls of confinement to discover more about this magical land. Garmisch is quite touristy, mostly everyone speaks English, but if not, then it is easy to navigate with head nods and pointing and basic German. Here is a short list of discoveries so far:

EVERYTHING is recyclable:

A great quote I read in a book along the way somewhere went something like this - "We do not inherit the Earth from our parents, instead, we borrow it from our children." Author unknown. Imagine if the world thought this way. The good we could do. The Earth sustained and nourishing it's being's instead of using and consuming endlessly until it is all gone. What then? OK, fear mongering done. But, German's live this. They truly care about this world and the environment. They take recycling seriously and there are bins for everything. They will even go as far as to pay you for it! Maybe not pay you, but you pay a deposit on certain consumable items and get that deposit back when you return the item, in order to encourage recycling. Granted, it's only 0.25 euro, it adds up.

Whatever you do, do NOT jay walk:

You might be able to get away with it with the old "no cop, no stop" rule, but I have heard rumors of cops posing undercover to catch jaywalkers and fine them for the act, upwards of 60 euro. It could be a myth, but I do not want to find out. Also, locals will go as far as to call you a "child killer" if they see you jaywalk, think about it. Don't say I didn't warn you. Berlin might be the exception in this law.

German dogs are better than great:

I'm a dog lover to the core, and I miss Kato and my other family dogs back home. Wish I could pet them everyday, so when I see these dogs running alongside their owners with no leash and they are incredibly trained they do not run off or disobey their owners, it makes me wonder. Germans are exceptional trainers, and it makes sense, a culture ingrained in order and structure will of course have great dog trainers everywhere. I am just hoping one will eventually run up to me so I can get a pet or 2 in, but don't go out of your way to pet the dogs- it's definitely not a social norm.

Berlin could be the exception to anything Germany:

We ventured over to Berlin for New Year's. I have been to a lot of cities in my day, but nothing is like Berlin that I have seen. It is myriad of art. Graffiti is everywhere. There is limited structure and order. Locals are nice, if there are any locals, that is. People offer you drugs on the streets at night, wait, ignore that part. Just kidding, but if that is your thing, Berlin is your place to be. You can get anything you want to eat from any culture around the world in Berlin. You can also get around the city in 30 minutes if need be with a plethora of transportation options, no need to drive because you will spend more time searching for a parking spot and wasting gas than you will pay for a group subway pass. Oh, and yeah, if history is your thing, head to Bernauer Strasse and learn about the oppression and division the Berlin Wall caused from 1961-1989. Berlin had me in love and I want to go back when I have more time to spend and enjoy the city.

Looking toward The Wank ("Vonk") after a brief snow

Tidbits of the minds abyss miscellaneousness:

If you think because you have been to one German city, you have seen it all, you are mistaken. That is comparable to claiming "I have been to New York, so I know what LA is like." Night and day. It is funny we live in such a diverse world where you can go to a country and there be multiple cultures within that country, but yet the same major culture norms overlap every part of that country. In order to truly learn and understand a culture, one would have to dedicate a lifetime of understanding to that country/civilization/entity/land/area/etc, and even then, they might not gather everything there is to know.

I find it fascinating how over thousands of years, Europe developed slowly. People spread slowly due to the natural geography of the landscape, it was difficult for European ancestors to traverse the mountainous and river lands. The wanderers pushed forward when they were born and continued to spread west, eventually settling as far northwest as Ireland and as north as Norway and Sweden. To the point where we have an entire continent that is "simply" a plethora of different cultures, languages, foods, and beliefs. If this diverse continent could eventually figure out how to live together after years of war and turmoil, I believe the rest of the world could figure out how to live in harmony as well. Relax, take a deep breath, and say hi to your neighbor.

If you truly want to be a world citizen, travel whenever possible. Travel far and wide. But do not just travel, travel with a curious mind with the desire to learn and understand what you are observing. Share and learn. Learn more about the landscape, the history, the people. Ask stupid questions and make mistakes. Soak up the information like a sponge and write about it later. Do the local shit and get away from the comfort of knowing. You are a tiny little conscious live creature in a vast universe that is your playground filled with a vast wealth of knowledge waiting to be learned by you. You do not know it all, nor will you ever, and as soon as you realize this and truly focus on what you want to know and learn, you will be able to embark on incredible change. There are two types of people in the world: The fixed mindset group (majority), and the growth mindset group. As you can imagine, the fixed mindset believe things are the way they are and they will always be that way. Depressing, much? The growth mindset group believe the world is their oyster and there is always a lesson to be learned in order to continually grow and advance the malleable mind of our psyche. The growth mind focuses on positive attitudes, attributes, and outcomes. The growth mind has hope for a future all of man can live in while simultaneously dispersing the evils that be through acknowledging fear but instead choosing to pursue passions. Which mindset sound better to you?

Embark on the Journey of Fear and Change

Y'all, I'm here. I made it. I'm in Germany clinging to the youth I have left and beginning this new 15 month adventure. This place is a fairy tale land. Here is home for now:

Looking at the Alpspitze. I live here?

Not sure what lies ahead but I know it is more good than anything else. My head is on straight and I'm focused on the task ahead. I understand what fuels my drive, but I am not exactly sure how to make it a sustainable passion for the long run. Isn't that the key to happiness?.. Find something you love to do first and the money will follow. I love to travel and help people. I'm sure there are hundereds of ways for me to satisfy this personal need, and I will find at least one. Now I understand this is only the beginning of a majorly unknown journey. There will be tribulations along with great times but I will meet all of it with an open mind head on.

They say there are two ways to look at fear. You are either the type that fear enables you or you are the type that gets motivated by it. Mankind would get nowhere with the former. Come to think, I have been the former and I have struggled with developing my mindset to embrace change. Although, change is the only constant, realize this and change becomes much easier. Unless you are born into adversity, it's a process to develop.

To be completely honest, when I was offered this opportunity, I made hundreds of excuses as to why I simply could not embark on the quest, and each one satisfied the underlying fear and doubt that was in the back of my mind. The "But I have a decent job", "But what about your family", "But what about world relations", thoughts began to flood my mind and I began to dig deeper into world events the internet told me about. I was legitimately scared to move, let alone go across the world for a job. My mind, flooded by a river of cortisol because I was afraid of the unknown. This went on for a week or so, until I realized exactly who the hell I am.

I am strong. I am a bull. I don't back down or give in to negativity and naysayers and I never have. I stand up for what I believe is right. What type of man would let a dream die in the name of fear? No man I know or want to associate with. No man who can make a change. No man who will succeed. I am not this man. I love challenges, and I am here to step up to this quest. My subconscious mind had tried to sabotage my success by wanting the easy road and this is where fear collided with change and I met the crossroads. Many would let the change bringing on the advent of dreams and goals succumb to fear and stay with the safety net when life calls.

Life was calling. I answered. Will you?